Start My sister is dating an alcoholic

My sister is dating an alcoholic

I receive a lot of emails from people who are in a relationship with an adult child of alcoholics.

Even if we look relaxed, even if we appear to be laughing without a care in the world, we’re still ready to steel ourselves against the attack of a drunken parent’s words upon returning home–or for you to turn on us (again, we don’t really think you will, but we were raised to expect it).

But us–we always played with one eye watching the horizon.

We Can’t Truly Relax Very Often (But we’re working on that!

It’s because we grew up in such unstable, inconsistent environments–we were, essentially, trained not to trust.

(Years ago, my father yelled at me, “There is no safety in the world, and no one deserves safety from this world.”) If you were to evaluate us based solely on our upbringing, you’d come to the conclusion that we were raised for battle–to be on-edge and ‘ready’ at all times for chaos to break.

It might seem like a simple thing, to know how you feel…but it’s not always obvious to us.

The same goes for what we want to do today…we need time to sort out what we think you want from us versus what we want for us.

This post describes what it’s like to grow up in an alcoholic family.