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Everyone asks if he is there to buy tulips, and he says no, the Netherlands’ tulip bubble has long since collapsed, and the price is down to a guilder or two.

But they didn’t have enough money to afford universal tulip subsidies.

It was pretty touch-and-go for a while, and a lot of poor people were very unhappy.

Nevertheless, they are glad that, however high tulip prices may be for them, they know the government is always there to help.

Sure, the roads are falling apart and the army is going hungry for lack of rations, but at least everyone who wants to marry is able to do so.

Soon, some of the poorest people are locked out of marriage and family-raising entirely. Marriage is, they say, a human right, and to see it forcibly denied the poor by foreign speculators is nothing less than an abomination.

They demand that the King provide every man enough money to guarantee he can buy a tulip.

Imagine a little kingdom with a quaint custom: when a man likes a woman, he offers her a tulip; if she accepts, they are married shortly thereafter.

A couple who marries sans tulip is considered to be living in sin; no other form of proposal is appropriate or accepted.

Ireland’s medical school is five years as opposed to America’s four because the Irish spend their first year teaching the basic sciences – biology, organic chemistry, physics, calculus.

When I applied to medical school in Ireland, they offered me an accelerated four year program on the grounds that I had surely gotten all of those in my American undergraduate work. I read some books about them over the summer and did just fine. Irishmen can do it in four, and achieve the same result.

But nowadays they use daffodils to mark engagements, and their economy has never been better. In America, aspiring doctors do four years of undergrad in whatever area they want (I did Philosophy), then four more years of medical school, for a total of eight years post-high school education.